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Emotions play an important in our lives and our relationships. The more we can understand our own emotions the better we can understand ourselves and our significant other. Many people come into couple’s therapy thinking the problem in their relationship lies with one person is too emotional and other person is not emotional enough. This creates for the therapist a dilemma of trying to find a way to increase emotional responses in one person and decrease an emotional response in the other person.

It can be a difficult task to attempt to change the amount of emotions a person experiences since emotions tend to happen without much control by the person feeling or experiencing them. Rather than focus upon this increasing and decreasing of emotional expression my belief in helping couples is that it’s better to help clients create a deeper understanding of their emotional impact upon the significant other by addressing in session the experience of each person. By addressing the experiences in sessions, each person in the relationship  learns more about themselves and the experience of the other and better prepares and enables them to be more accepting and understanding.