People who are survivors of any sort of trauma are in desperate need of peace, security, and nurturing that comes from a mature and loving relationship. Trauma can be a matter of abuse or neglect in a past relationship, during their childhood, or both. Trauma can also be an injury that has led to a completely different form of life. Whatever the case may be, loving somebody through trauma and after trauma is different from loving someone who has never experienced trauma.
What You Need to Know About Life and Love After Trauma
For those who have survived trauma in their lives, forming intimate relationships can be frightening and confusing, leading to a whole spectrum of emotions. If you or someone you love has overcome trauma in their lives, it’s important to know the best way to love and be loved in a healthy, post-trauma relationship.
Regardless of the type of trauma – physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact it has on a person’s life often lingers far beyond the initial event. Survivors tend to believe that intimacy is dangerous for both them and their partner, making a real and loving attachment to a person unimaginable. Whether you or your partner experienced traumatic events while serving in the military, have miraculously survived a car crash or motorsport accident, or have overcome the violence and trauma that you faced throughout childhood, it’s common for survivors to believe that they are not worth someone else’s love – no matter how much they love that person.
Trauma makes it difficult to let people in, and experience life without the thoughts, lies, and replays that haunt on a daily basis. Traumatic experiences are almost always accompanied by isolation. Fear, guilt, anxiety, and confusion are all isolating, and for a trauma survivor, it often seems easier to be alone than it is to be with people. Understanding this, and learning how to identify these emotional barriers in yourself or your loved one who is forever overcoming a traumatic experience, is the most effective method in truly showing someone love, despite the way they function as a result of their trauma.
Life and love are two difficult things for some people. Life and love after trauma can be polarizing, intimidating, and often seem impossible. The good news is, it’s not. Understanding what someone has been through, recognizing why they do things a certain way, and loving them unconditionally for who they are as a result of their trauma is how to do life and love with a trauma survivor.
Is someone you love dealing with trauma in their lives? Consider a free consultation with a therapist to help them through this difficult journey. Call us today at 303-295-3326.