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This article is not really about how to love, a definition of love or even the deeper meaning of love; it’s about the consequences of love on those around a couple and the potential for the problems created.  A couple being in love happens also never in isolation.  Other people surrounding the couple can be affected in ways which seems less than obvious.   A person in love can and will see family and others in a different way from what could of have been their ordinary view.  This difference in view of others is the reason for this article.  This article will attempt to provide information needed to identify the problem as a different view of others close to the relationship.

Many couples enter therapy for the reasons not to do seemingly directly with their relationship but with others close by. These couples, who maybe struggling with a different view of others, will tell their therapist the reasons for them to come in are a mother-in-law who is constantly complaining, a child who is out of control, a friend who is dominating one of the person’s time in the relationships or any number of other countless variations of this similar theme.   This theme of someone else outside of the relationship always being as an issue of conflicts in the relationship and the solutions not seemly being in control of the couple is suggestive of the possibility of a difference in view by one or both of the persons in the love relationship.  This difference in view of others is hard to identify since it is not about the experiences of those in love and those close by the relationship.  A therapist can with assessment tools determine the issues needing to be addressed.