Loving a person with ADHD can be a difficult undertaking. Their intensified thought process and active mind leave them constantly thinking, creating, processing, and working internally. Their emotional outbursts or extreme behavioral switches can put you through a rollercoaster of feelings and confusion.
When it comes to the way they operate, people with ADD/ADHD struggle with extreme opposites. Concentrating on tasks is difficult, and they can become easily distracted while concentrating on something of interest leads them to concentrate so deeply they end up in their own world. Starting projects is a challenge for them, but stopping a project is an even bigger challenge.
What to Remember When You Love Someone with ADHD
Loving a person with ADD/ADHD can present situations that put pressure on your relationship and can leave you both feeling upset and hurt. Whether it’s your spouse, significant other or child, understanding a person with ADD/ADHD will bring peace to the emotions, activity, and patience of your day-to-day lives.
They have an active mind
It’s important to remember that there is no “on/off” switch to the mind of a person with ADD. Their brain does not stop, and as a result of their physical activity often does not stop either. They can become annoyed easily, want things to happen immediately, and often fidget with objects. Their active mind also leads them to have many tasks going at the same time. Multi-tasking is how they operate, but efficiency is difficult. People with ADD often start a new task before closing out another.
They’re constantly moving
A person with ADD might twirl their hair or bounce their leg to stay in constant motion. In the same way, they are physically sensitive. People with ADD are often like The Princess and the Pea, they feel things that others likely wouldn’t notice like fabrics that feel uncomfortable, objects that feel heavy in their hands, and foods with textures that normally wouldn’t be a bother.
They listen but don’t absorb what’s being said
Though they’ll likely look at your face and hear your words, a person with ADD gets distracted easily. Your conversation can lead them to think about things other than what you’re addressing, and the distraction can cause problems. Just remember that they are not intentionally being rude, and they have little control over the way they focus.
They are deeply intuitive
Their emotions and internal thought processes make them great at reading people and deeply intuitive. They recognize the emotions of others and care a lot about the way others are feeling. They also take on the emotions and stressful weight of others as a way to process their own feelings and emotions.
They have difficulty staying on task
Instead of keeping the focus on the task in front of them, people with ADD focus on the distractions around them. If you’re talking to them in a loud space, it’s likely that their ears are hearing the words from someone else’s conversation nearby. The paper in front of them is not nearly as interesting as the painting on the wall, and their regular daydreaming makes almost anything a focal point that they direct their attention to. It’s common for people with ADD to avoid tasks, or forget simple tasks, and they often become hyper-focused on a particular task.
They organize differently
Call it unorganized, or call it different, people with ADD often organize things in piles. Piles are their favorite method of organizing things that relate to each other. Because of this, it’s easy for them to become overwhelmed or frustrated. Their minds don’t function in an organized fashion, so keeping things in order is sometimes stressful and unorganized.
They are emotional, passionate, and anxious
A person with ADD has emotions that are all over the place. Things can be perceived out of proportion, and their unorganized minds make it difficult for them to process thoughts and feelings. Whether things make them feel overwhelmed or accomplishing tasks leaves them feeling frustrated, people with ADD have imbalanced emotions, and often struggle with anxiety. In the same respect, they are passionate about everything they do. Their emotions, thoughts, words and touch are all magnified. They operate with intensity and with their whole heart, which makes them easy to love, and to be loved by.