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There’s a common understanding among people who reflect their personalities. Many believe that there are extroverts and introverts. Extroverts are outgoing, love people and enjoy being surrounded by lively activity. Introverts often shy away from the crowd and enjoy being alone in quiet places. These two personality styles are true for some people, but the black and white explanation of each is only a small description of the way people interact and process.

7 Things to Know About Being in a Relationship with an Outgoing Introvert

A less-recognized personality style is that of an outgoing introvert. The oxymoron suits people whose personalities are often an unusual mix of extroverted traits and introverted tendencies. Like an onion, outgoing introverts have layers upon layers of thoughts and feelings. Many you can see, and a lot more that you can’t. It’s important to be able to recognize if your partner is an outgoing introvert, and learn the best ways to understand the way they process to best love them.

When they see you after a long day, they might be irritable and not interested in talking to you

It’s nothing personal, but still introverts at their core, outgoing introverts often need to recharge after using a lot of social energy. After a long day of interacting with people and capitalizing on their outgoing traits, it is common for outgoing introverts to feel drained, and longing to unwind alone. The energy level of an outgoing introvert usually depends on their environment, and their energy usually comes from human interaction. It can be a hit or miss, but if an outgoing introvert clicks with an individual or a group, their social interaction is natural. If they don’t, then their social batteries become drained, and it’s not uncommon for them to become annoyed with the extroverts around them, leaving them wanting to withdraw from the crowd.

Somedays communication comes easy, and other days it’s difficult

Outgoing introverts can be weird when it comes to things like talking on the phone. Sometimes it’s easy for them to talk on the phone for hours and be super outgoing. Other days the phone can seem intrusive because it pulls their minds away from whatever they are currently deeply focusing on. Outgoing introverts are almost always deeply focused on something, so the distraction of a phone call or a text message can seem like an inconvenience to them.

The best thing to do is not change the fact that you call or text, but rather don’t take it personally when your outgoing introvert partner does not immediately change tasks to talk to you on the phone. You are loved, and by understanding how your partner operates, they can also feel loved by you too.

They can be the life of the party but…

Outgoing introverts have no trouble being lively and fun. Their outgoing personality traits make it easy to be the center of attention, but they often need to warm up to people first. It’s not anti-social, it’s selectively social. Outgoing introverts often find it hard to meet people they like. They can be inviting and charming while simultaneously being introspective and reflective. They live inside their heads, but their personality leads people to think otherwise.

They hate first dates and new introductions

Outgoing introverts love meeting new people and hate it all at the same time. It all goes back to the fact that they long for deep and meaningful relationships, but feel like they have to test the water first. Over-thinking is a big part of the way they process internally, so small talk is uncomfortable, and general “get to know you” questions are awkward for them.

They might seem as though they like everyone

Outgoing introverts are natural people pleasers. When they have to interact with people, it’s normal for them to seem like there’s nothing in the world they’d rather be doing. It’s not fake, and it’s not a flaw, but because they’re often overly sensitive, they will go out of their way to make other people feel comfortable and happy. Outgoing introverts are intuitive and outgoing at the same time.

Their intuition makes them great at reading people

Because they are often processing or over-thinking internally, outgoing introverts can usually read other people well. Their intuitive traits allow them to notice details that may escape others around them, and because they care so deeply, it’s normal for them to act on it. Research has found that their attention to detail causes introvert’s brain activity to increase when processing visual information, and they weigh internal cues more strongly than external motivation. In other words, you won’t fool them, and their natural over-sensitivity will lead to them showering you with love and comfort.

They may not even know that they’re an outgoing introvert

Because their personalities are not completely introverted or completely extroverted, it can take years for someone to figure out how they process, and what their true personality is. Once they are able to identify their unique mix of personality traits, it becomes much easier for outgoing introverts to recognize why they can become easily annoyed, or why they sometimes process experiences differently.

Outgoing introverts are full of personality and emotion, and being in a relationship with one can often seem like a rollercoaster of moods. Understanding how your partner processes things and recognizing what’s a personal attack on you and what usually is not is the best way to love and be loved by an outgoing introvert. They’re the perfect mix of hyper-focused, hyper-drained, and just plain hyper to fill every spot in your heart.