With more than 50 percent of married couples annually filing for divorce in the U.S., it is obvious that people are desperate to learn how to save their marriage. Not all marriages can be saved, but taking every possible step to improve your marriage is the proactive way to work through personal issues and relational dysfunctions.
What Can You Do to Save Your Marriage?
Your marriage is without a doubt worth saving. Working on your relationship, communication, and ultimately softening your heart toward your spouse can only be done as a team. You cannot save your marriage alone. Working as a team is a matter of loving communication and compromise. Open communication, the kind that is not full of resentment or frustration is important in working together. With respectful conversation and loving listening, working together becomes easier.
The best thing you can do to begin saving your marriage is having an honest conversation with each other about what used to work. Why are you together? You love each other, you like each other, and because you’re hoping to save your marriage, you likely want to be together. Besides that, maybe you both want to be an example of a good relationship for your kids, or you don’t want your kids to be products of divorce. Maybe you’ve never been a product of a successful marriage, or maybe you don’t argue productively. Whatever the case may be, collectively determine what you both similarly want, and what you both are similarly bad at. This is not a finger-pointing match, it’s a pride-less confession of what you both want to improve – together.
Understanding where you both are at is a great place to be moving forward. After identifying what you both want, and what you both have failed at, work together to identify your love languages. It’s likely that the person you’re married to is also the person who knows you best. Learning each other’s love language will help you better understand how your partner feels loved, and what you can each be doing to better serve and love your spouse.
Understanding how each of you processes things is also useful material in better understanding one another, and showing each other grace as you overcome the worst place your marriage has ever been. It’s not a problem if you need time to process a discussion while your partner is quicker to react, but understanding those little things about each other will lead to understanding bigger things about each other.
These are great solutions for improving any marriage, and possibly saving yours. One of the best ways to work collectively as a married couple to save your marriage is by working with a marriage or family counselor. Having a mediator who prompts both questions and understanding is the best tool you can have in your corner.
Do you have a plan to save your marriage? A free consultation with a counselor might just get you back on track. Call Compass Family Counseling today at 303-295-3326.